Dr. Mercola suggests: Vitamins Offer Hope for Alzheimer's

Vitamins Offer Hope for Alzheimer's

By Dr. Mercola

In the United States, Alzheimer's disease is currently at epidemic proportions, with 5.4 million Americans—including one in eight people aged 65 and over—living with the disease, according to the Alzheimer's Association's 2011 Alzheimer's Disease Facts and Figures¹.
By 2050, this is expected to jump to 16 million, and in the next 20 years, it is projected that Alzheimer's will affect one in four Americans, rivaling the current prevalence of obesity and diabetes.
There is still no known cure for this devastating disease, and very few treatments. Alzheimer's drugs are often of little to no benefit at all, which underscores the importance of prevention throughout your lifetime.
Research repeatedly suggests the best hope for patients lies in prevention through optimal diet, exercise and staying socially and mentally active. As recently reported by Forbes²:

“[A] new study in Science suggested that last year’s ‘breakthrough’ pharmaceutical, bexarotene (Targretin) – a cancer drug that had initially received wide publicity for helping break up the plaques in Alzheimer’s – doesn’t seem to do this very well at all, and can have significant adverse side effects for the patient.

‘Something happened in that initial report – either something technically or otherwise, which we can’t put our hands on at this point in time,” study author Sangram Sisodia told US News & World Report. ‘Something is seriously wrong.’

While memory loss is common among Westerners, it is NOT a "normal" part of aging. Research has shown that even mild "senior moments" are caused by the same brain lesions associated with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. These cognitive changes are by no means inevitable!
People who experience very little decline in their cognitive function up until their deaths have been found (post-mortem) to be free of brain lesions, showing that it's entirely possible to prevent the damage from occurring in the first place. At the end of this article, I share my best tips for maintaining healthy brain function well into old age.
In recent years, researchers studying natural compounds have offered new hope. For example, two recent studies suggest that compounds in cinnamon, as well as vitamins B12, B6, and folate may delay the onset and/or slow progression of the disease.

The Promise of Cinnamon and Vitamins in the Fight Against Alzheimer’s Disease

The first study in question, published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease³, found that cinnamaldehyde and epicatechin, two compounds found in cinnamon, have an inhibitory effect on the aggregation of a particular protein called tau. Tau plays a large role in the structure and function of neurons.
But while a normal part of cell structures, this protein can begin to accumulate, forming “neurofibrillary tangles” that are a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease. Both compounds were found to protect tau from oxidative damage that can lead to dysfunction.
Donald Graves, adjunct professor in UCSB's Department of Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology and co-author of the study explained the protective process to Medical News Today⁴:

"'Take, for example, sunburn, a form of oxidative damage. If you wore a hat, you could protect your face and head from the oxidation. In a sense this cinnamaldehyde is like a cap. While it can protect the tau protein by binding to its vulnerable cysteine residues, it can also come off,' Graves added, which can ensure the proper functioning of the protein.”

It’s interesting to note that there’s a high correlation between type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer's disease. Some even believe Alzheimer’s may be a form of brain diabetes. Insulin and insulin receptors in your brain are crucial for learning and memory, and it’s known that these components are lower in people with Alzheimer’s disease.
In addition to the above findings, cinnamon has also been found to have beneficial effects on blood glucose management in type 2 diabetics. This is one of the reasons I include cinnamon in my healthy coconut candy recipe.

B Vitamins Again Show Promise in Alzheimer’s Prevention

The other study, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences⁵, found that vitamins B6, B12, and folic acid may help slow the progression of the disease, confirming and supporting previous studies. As reported in the featured article⁶:

“The fact that B-family vitamins may play a significant role in dementia, or more specifically in warding it off has been consistently illustrated. What is news from the current study, however, is that high-dose B-vitamin treatment in people at risk for the disease ‘slowed shrinkage of whole brain volume,’ and especially reduced shrinkage in areas known to be affected in Alzheimer’s disease.”

The 156 study participants, all of whom were over the age of 70, were diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. This, along with midlife hypertension, midlife obesity and diabetes, is a known risk factor for Alzheimer’s. One group of participants received a placebo while the other received high-dose B-vitamin treatment consisting of:

• 0.8 mg folic acid
• 20 mg vitamin B6
• 0.5 mg vitamin B12

It is important to note that vitamin B12 comes in many forms and it is typically injected because it is not absorbed well by most people, especially in the elderly who need it most. This is due to it being one of the largest vitamins known. The most common form is cyanocobalamin but a better from would be methylcobalamin. A better alternative to B12 injections would also be sublingual sprays, which are absorbed very similarly to the injections.
The treatment effectively slowed shrinkage of the whole brain volume over the course of two years. It also reduced, by as much as seven-fold, the cerebral atrophy in certain brain regions that are particularly vulnerable to damage associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Another major boon: The supplements cost less than 50 cents a day and are readily available in pharmacies and health-food stores. In the placebo group, higher homocysteine levels at baseline were associated with faster atrophy in these same regions. According to the researchers⁷:

“We... show that the beneficial effect of B vitamins is confined to participants with high homocysteine... and that, in these participants, a causal Bayesian network analysis indicates the following chain of events: B vitamins lower homocysteine, which directly leads to a decrease in gray matter atrophy, thereby slowing cognitive decline.

Our results show that B-vitamin supplementation can slow the atrophy of specific brain regions that are a key component of the AD process and that are associated with cognitive decline.”

Dr. A. David Smith, professor emeritus of pharmacology at Oxford University, founding director of the Oxford Project to Investigate Memory and Ageing, and senior author of the study told Bloomberg News⁸ that this B-vitamin treatment is “the first and only disease-modifying treatment that’s worked. We have proved the concept that you can modify the disease.” This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who understands that without proper nutrition and exercise, your brain will be increasingly vulnerable to damage with age...

Vitamin B Cocktail Already Used for Dementia Prevention in Sweden

Three years ago, the same group of researchers showed that the atrophy rate in patients’ whole brains was reduced by about 30 percent in those taking the vitamin cocktail⁹. The atrophy rate was even higher—53 percent—in those who had elevated homocysteine levels, a benefit that was reconfirmed in the featured study. According to Bloomberg¹⁰:

“The studies, known as Vitacog, were funded by seven charities and government agencies and vitamin maker Meda AB of Solna, Sweden. Smith is an inventor on three patents held by Oxford University for B vitamin formulations to treat Alzheimer’s disease... Vitamin B12 is found in liver, fish and milk and folic acid in fruit and vegetables. Deficiency of folate and B vitamins is already linked to dementia...

Doctors in Sweden began measuring homocysteine in people who report declining memory about two years ago, said [Johan] Lokk [professor and head physician in the geriatric department at Karolinska University Hospital in Sweden, who wasn’t involved in the study]...

Swedish patients with high homocysteine are given folic acid and B vitamins, even if they aren’t deficient. ‘We think the increased homocysteine level could be deleterious to the brain,’ Lokk said. ‘We wanted to be on the offensive in diagnosing and treating patients. In our opinion, it is harmless and cheap.'”

General Anesthesia Could Increase Risk of Dementia in Elderly by 35 Percent

Related research suggests that being exposed to general anesthesia can increase the risk of dementia in the elderly by as much as 35 percent. The research was presented at the annual congress of the European Society of Anesthesiology (ESA). As reported by Medical News Today¹¹:

“Postoperative cognitive dysfunction, or POCD, could be associated with dementia several years later. POCD is a common complication in elderly patients after major surgery. It has been proposed that there is an association between POCD and the development of dementia due to a common pathological mechanism through the amyloid β peptide. Several experimental studies suggest that some anesthetics could promote inflammation of neural tissues leading to POCD and/or Alzheimer's disease (AD) precursors including β-amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles.”

Participants aged 65 and over were followed for a total of 10 years. Participants exposed to at least one general anesthetic over the follow-up had a 35 percent increased risk of developing a dementia compared to those who were not exposed to anesthesia. According to lead researcher Dr. Francois Sztark¹²:

"These results are in favor of an increased risk for dementia several years after general anesthesia. Recognition of POCD is essential in the perioperative management of elderly patients. A long-term follow-up of these patients should be planned."

Tips for Avoiding Alzheimer's Disease

The beauty of following my revised Nutrition Plan is that it helps treat and prevent all chronic degenerative diseases, from the common ones like heart disease, diabetes, obesity and Alzheimer's to the ones you have never heard of or can't even pronounce. So please read the Plan as soon as you can. It is divided into three helpful sections, Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced to help you start at the right level.
The plan is the first step in addressing Alzheimer's disease, which is currently at epidemic proportions, with 5.4 million Americans – including one in eight people aged 65 and over – living with the disease.
Remember, while memory loss is indeed common among Westerners, it is NOT a "normal" part of aging, and cognitive changes are by no means inevitable. People who experience very little decline in their cognitive function up until their deaths have been found (post-mortem) to be free of brain lesions, showing that it's entirely possible to prevent the damage from occurring in the first place… and one of the best ways to do this is by leading a healthy lifestyle.

• Sugar and Fructose. Ideally, you’ll want to keep your sugar levels to a minimum and your total fructose below 25 grams per day, or as low as 15 grams per day if you have insulin resistance or any related disorders.
• Improve magnesium levels. There is some exciting preliminary research strongly suggesting a decrease in Alzheimer symptoms with increased levels of magnesium in the brain. Unfortunately, most magnesium supplements do not pass the blood brain levels, but a new one, magnesium threonate, appears to and holds some promise for the future for treating this condition and may be superior to other forms.
• Optimize your vitamin D levels with safe sun exposure. Strong links between low levels of vitamin D in Alzheimer's patients and poor outcomes on cognitive tests have been revealed. Researchers believe that optimal vitamin D levels may enhance the amount of important chemicals in your brain and protect brain cells by increasing the effectiveness of the glial cells in nursing damaged neurons back to health.
  
  Vitamin D may also exert some of its beneficial effects on Alzheimer's through its anti-inflammatory and immune-boosting properties. Sufficient vitamin D is imperative for proper functioning of your immune system to combat inflammation that is also associated with Alzheimer's.
  
• Keep your fasting insulin levels below 3. This is indirectly related to fructose, as it will clearly lead to insulin resistance. However other sugars (sucrose is 50 percent fructose by weight), grains and lack of exercise are also important factors. Lowering insulin will also help lower leptin levels which is another factor for Alzheimer’s.
• Vitamin B12: In addition to the research presented above, a small Finnish study published in the journal Neurology¹³ also found that people who consume foods rich in B12 may reduce their risk of Alzheimer's in their later years. For each unit increase in the marker of vitamin B12, the risk of developing Alzheimer's was reduced by two percent. Remember sublingual methylcobalamin may be your best bet here.
• Eat a nutritious diet, rich in folate, such as the one described in my nutrition plan. Vegetables, without question, are your best form of folate, and we should all eat plenty of fresh raw veggies every day. Avoid supplements with folic acid, which is the inferior synthetic version of folate.
• High-quality animal-based omega-3 fats, such as krill oil. (I recommend avoiding most fish because, although fish is naturally high in omega-3, most fish are now severely contaminated with mercury.) High intake of the omega-3 fats EPA and DHA help by preventing cell damage caused by Alzheimer's disease, thereby slowing down its progression, and lowering your risk of developing the disorder.
• Avoid and eliminate mercury from your body. Dental amalgam fillings, which are 50 percent mercury by weight, are one of the major sources of heavy metal toxicity. However you should be healthy prior to having them removed. Once you have adjusted to following the diet described in my optimized nutrition plan, you can follow the mercury detox protocol and then find a biological dentist to have your amalgams removed.
• Avoid aluminum, such as antiperspirants, non-stick cookware, vaccine adjuvants, etc.
• Exercise regularly. It's been suggested that exercise can trigger a change in the way the amyloid precursor protein is metabolized¹⁴, thus, slowing down the onset and progression of Alzheimer's. Exercise also increases levels of the protein PGC-1alpha. Research has also shown that people with Alzheimer's have less PGC-1alpha in their brains¹¹ and cells that contain more of the protein produce less of the toxic amyloid protein associated with Alzheimer's. I would strongly recommend reviewing the Peak Fitness Technique for my specific recommendations.
• Avoid flu vaccinations as most contain both mercury and aluminum, well-known neurotoxic and immunotoxic agents.
• Eat blueberries. Wild blueberries, which have high anthocyanin and antioxidant content, are known to guard against Alzheimer's and other neurological diseases. Like any fruit though, avoid excesses here.
• Challenge your mind daily. Mental stimulation, especially learning something new, such as learning to play an instrument or a new language, is associated with a decreased risk of Alzheimer's. Researchers suspect that mental challenge helps to build up your brain, making it less susceptible to the lesions associated with Alzheimer's disease.
• Avoid anticholinergic and statin drugs. Drugs that block acetylcholine, a nervous system neurotransmitter, have been shown to increase your risk of dementia. These drugs include certain nighttime pain relievers, antihistamines, sleep aids, certain antidepressants, medications to control incontinence, and certain narcotic pain relievers.

Statin drugs are particularly problematic because they suppress the synthesis of cholesterol, deplete your brain of coenzyme Q10 and neurotransmitter precursors, and prevent adequate delivery of essential fatty acids and fat-soluble antioxidants to your brain by inhibiting the production of the indispensable carrier biomolecule known as low-density lipoprotein.

Other Natural Treatments for Your Anti-Alzheimer's Arsenal

Finally, there are a few other nutritional recommendations worth noting for their specific benefits in preventing and treating dementia. So, although your fundamental strategy for preventing dementia should involve a comprehensive lifestyle approach, you may want to consider adding a few of these natural dietary agents to your anti-Alzheimer's arsenal. These four natural foods/supplements have good science behind them, in terms of preventing age-related cognitive changes:

1. Coconut Oil: The primary fuel your brain needs for energy is glucose. However, your brain is able to run on more than a single type of fuel, one being ketones (ketone bodies), or ketoacids. Ketones are what your body produces when it converts fat (as opposed to glucose) into energy.
   
   The medium-chain triglycerides (MCT) found in coconut oil are GREAT source of ketone bodies, because coconut oil is about 66 percent MCTs. In fact, ketones appear to be the preferred source of brain food in patients affected by diabetes or Alzheimer's.
   
2. Astaxanthin is a natural pigment with unique properties and many clinical benefits, including some of the most potent antioxidant activity currently known. As a fat-soluble nutrient, astaxanthin readily crosses your blood-brain barrier. One study¹⁵ found it may help prevent neurodegeneration associated with oxidative stress, as well as make a potent natural "brain food."
   
   The molecules of astaxanthin neutralize free radicals and other oxidants without being destroyed or becoming pro-oxidants themselves in the process. It's is a unique molecule whose shape allows it to precisely fit into a cell membrane and span its entire width. In this position, astaxanthin can intercept potentially damaging molecules before they can damage your cells.
   You can get some astaxanthin by taking krill oil, which is a fantastic omega-3 fat supplement. But you can boost your astaxanthin even MORE by adding a pure astaxanthin supplement to your nutritional regimen. For optimal absorption, make sure to take krill oil and/or astaxanthin with a fat-containing meal, since both are fat-soluble.
   
3. Gingko biloba: Many scientific studies have found that Gingko biloba has positive effects for dementia. Gingko, which is derived from a tree native to Asia, has long been used medicinally in China and other countries. A 1997 study from JAMA showed clear evidence that Gingko improves cognitive performance and social functioning for those suffering from dementia.
   
   Research since then has been equally promising. One study in 2006 found Gingko as effective as the dementia drug Aricept (donepezil) for treating mild to moderate Alzheimer's type dementia. A 2010 meta-analysis found Gingko biloba to be effective for a variety of types of dementia.
   
4. Alpha lipoic acid (ALA): ALA can stabilize cognitive functions among Alzheimer's patients and may slow the progression of the disease.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/06/13/alzheimers-dementia-treatment.aspx?e_cid=20130613_DNL_art_1&utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art1&utm_campaign=20130613

Why do people shout at each other when they are angry?

 
A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked, 'Why do people shout at each other when they are angry?' 

The followers thought for a while. Then one of them said, 'Because we lose our peacefulness, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint.

Followers gave some other answers but none satisfied the other followers. Finally, the saint explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, they only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally, they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his followers and said:

'So, when you argue do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Sex-education

Sex-education

Posted by: "Chitra Jha" chitrajhaa@gmail.com

Sun Jun 2, 2013 10:43 pm

*Sex, Sexuality and Parenting *
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[image: Picture]
Sex education is not about sex and how to have sex. This is the first thing
that parents need to keep in mind while imparting this basic and very
important knowledge to children.

I feel the very idea of sex and the actual act of sex and the related fears
and morality surrounding it has made talking of sex so difficult for
parents. The moment we utter the word sex, images pop up in our minds.
Think of the images and look at them closely is what I tell parents. Are
these images loving and kind or are they fearful and violent?

If the word sex evokes fearful and violent images or feelings in the body
of the parent, then the parent is in need of healing in these regions.
Childhood memories of sexual wounds, moralizing by parents, imprints from
media like books, magazines or films, impressions from conversations
overheard by children from adults, the subtle relationships between the
sexes that the parent as a child was exposed to and the experiences of
gender politics at home and the larger community in which the parent grew
up, all together play a key role in the kind of associations that the word
sex has for a parent while parenting.

Hence it is of paramount importance that the parent works at healing one’s
own sexual wounds and clearing one’s own perceptions about sex and
sexuality. That is the only way a parent can ensure raising one’s child
holistically without repeating the inflictions of sexual wounds that the
parent herself was perhaps a victim of.

The first thing to keep in mind is that sex is not the same as sexuality.
The healthiest way to ensure that the child grows up with a healthy sense
of sexual self is for the parent to accept that my child and I are both
sexual beings.

What does that mean?

*What is the meaning of ‘sexual beings’?*

It is the conscious awareness of the truth that we are biological beings
who breathe, eat, and procreate. To accept deeply that we are sexual beings
is to acknowledge the biological truth that we were born of sex and not of
immaculate conceptions from virgin mothers!

Before I delve deeper into sexuality and sex I like to explain what are
sense organs and action organs.

That we are alive and have desires that pull us to beauty or ugliness is
proof that we are organic beings who are making sense of this world of ours
with our senses. Our senses are divided into two categories:

Sense organs:

1. Eyes
2. Ears
3. Nose
4. Tongue
5. Skin

Action organs

1. Hands
2. Feet
3. Mouth
4. Anus
5. Genitals

In any human being the sense organs are stimulated by the world she lives
in and the mind acts as a processing lab which then transmits messages from
our sense organs to our action organs.

*We cannot change our sense organs. We cannot change our action organs. But
in the middle there is the mind, which we can change by changing our
perceptions. *That is why religion, culture, philosophy, education play
such an important role in shaping our minds.

The Buddha rightly said, “ We are what we think.” Our actions are a result
of our thoughts. So the only way to change the way we live is to change our
thoughts or change the way we think.

I shall give an example to explain how this is possible. Say as a child one
was bitten by a dog while walking alone in a narrow lane while it was dusk.
The adults who took care of the child saw this and reacted by saying,

*“how many times have I told you not to walk alone in narrow lanes when it
is dark and how many times have I told you dogs are dangerous.”*

Now each time the child is in a dark place and alone the memories of that
incident and the reactions of the adults around it get triggered and the
fear persists, preventing the child from taking a chance and walk out in
the dark. The child grows up and the mind has buried that incidence in the
subconscious as the child was made to feel shame and guilt for having
walked alone in the dark where dogs reside. In the child’s adult life also
any situation that looks similar triggers feelings of fear, shame and guilt.

And the feelings of fear, shame and guilt persist to stop the adult from
taking paths that could actually lead to pleasant experiences, but instead
the adult freezes and is unable to walk out in freedom.

I have taken a milder example. But there could be similar experiences with
respect to sex and sexuality imprinted in the child’s mind that processes
all sensual stimuli on the bedrock of the same experience and results in
actions.

Hence experts say, “You are stuck in a habitual pattern of behavior.” *The
human being tries hard to change the situation by changing jobs, cities,
spouses, partners, friends, etc but cannot understand why she lands up in
the same situation each time.*

The reason is this, the mind is still processing the message coming from
the sense organs using the same imprint or knowledge and then transmitting
the old ways to act with the action organs.

Now let us see what happens if the adult who took care of the child when it
was bitten by dog, responded in a different way. The child is bitten by the
dog, and the adult takes the child in her arms and comforts the child for
the pain and hurt. The adult takes the child for medical attention and
keeps talking to the child by saying endearing words like. “It is ok honey.
You couldn’t have known that the dog would bite. It could happen to
anyone.” If the adult refrains from making associations like “the dog bit
as all dogs bite or dogs bite in dark lanes, or it is dangerous to walk in
the dark. So you deserve what happened to you. You should have listened to
me and not gone out in the dark and stayed away from dogs,” then there are
chances that the child will not feel shame, fear and guilt for the
unpleasant experience. *If the adult just attended to the wound of the
child and overlooked the cause of the wound and didn’t give that, much
importance then the chances of the wound healing without any deep imprints
in the minds is far greater.*

Such a child will grow up with a better chance to cope with unpleasant
experiences in life, and will be better equipped to handle risks and new
paths. Such a child will have a fair chance to not feel guilty when things
do not go as expected and such a child will not indulge in self blame or
blaming others for misfortunes.

*Why is this understanding of sense organs, mind and action organs
important to understand sexuality and sex?*

It is important because, imprints about sexuality and sex on a child’s mind
will pretty much determine how it conducts itself as an adult.

*It is well known that adults who were sexually abused as children find it
very hard to trust people and find it very hard to sustain healthy and
wholesome relationships. *

The reason being the sense organs and the actions organs were violated by
someone who the child trusted. And hence the child grows up to never trust
one’s own senses organs and all actions stem from this mistrust. The mind
is imprinted with mistrust and a sense of shame and fear for one’s own self.

Such children need a lot of healing and therapy before they can clear the
old perceptions from their mind about sex and sexuality, before they can
have any meaningful and wholesome relationship with themselves and the
opposite sex.

On a milder note parents need to take care of their language and modes of
retribution that are used to impart messages about sex organs and genitals
to the child.

I shall explain with an example. Young children often make sense of their
own body and action organs with the help of sense organs by stimulating
them. One will often find toddlers putting things into their mouths, nose
or ears. It could be unsafe if the child puts dirty and small objects into
these organs, but certainly not shameful to do so. It is simply an act of
experiment for the child and a process used by children to make sense of
their bodies.

Most parents make a big hue and cry of this. Most adults I have seen, jump
up and rush to the child and snatch the things out of the child’s hands by
saying loudly this: “*Stop, NO, Chi chi, that is not good..etc*”.

The child often gets frightened and cries. Is there a better way to handle
this?

I think there is. Try providing the child with larger objects to smell and
taste. Try gently explaining to the child using sentences like, “I know you
want to get a feel of these things, but you know small things might get
stuck in your throat or nose or ears and that can cause damage to your
body.” And do this consistently. *Children are wiser than we think they are.
* They are the most perceptive when younger. Use this opportunity to feed
fearless perceptions into the child’s mind.

The same principle operates with sex organs and genitals. Most children
like to play with their penis or vagina. If the adult were to look at this
act as another version of putting things in the mouth, nose and ear then to
handle this would be much easier too.

As the child is doing the same thing, i.e. making sense of its body and
sense and action organs. But as adults we are already shameful of our own
genitals and feelings in that region so we project that on our children and
say things like: *“Chi chi, shame shame, dirty place don’t touch, you will
fall sick if you touch your willy or pussy”!*

It could be embarrassing for the parent to watch this. One way to deal with
this is to allow the child to bathe in tubs or splash pools and talk gently
to the child about the genitals and say things like: “Does it feel good
when you touch your penis or vagina?” “It is ok to feel good, but try not
to do it in front of any one other than mum or dad, as some people might
harm you. You could do it in the bath as long as you wish to or in bed when
you are alone with mum.” Talk to the grandparents about this too and stand
up for your child.

This way the child learns a few things about its body:

1. The names of all its sense and action organs and learns to call them
by their real names and not nicknames and also learns about their true
functions.
2. The child learns to love and respect all parts of the body.
3. The child learns how to protect its body from damage and harm.
4. The child also learns about good touch and bad touch.
5. The child also learns about pleasure and pain of the body.

All this learning goes a long way to help the child to grow up with a
healthy sense of self and body.

Such children know their bodies well and hence are better equipped to take
care of themselves and report to parents when some kind of abuse happens.
They also learn to protect themselves from potential abusers.

They also grow up to be adults who can have healthy sexual relationships
and know when to stay away from abusive ones.

But before a parent can embark on a journey of imparting sexual education
to her child, she needs to heal herself of possible wounds that were
inflicted on her when she was a child.

The only way to heal oneself as an adult is to do things differently with
our children. *Children give us adults the opportunity to treat ourselves
better than we were treated by our parents and the society. *

Sex and sexuality need not be feared. Sexuality has to be embraced with
love and kind attention, as a healthy sexual self is capable of living and
loving courageously and abundantly.

*A few points to remember:*

1. Do not shame your child for touching and exploring genitals and other
sexual parts.
2. Do not discourage your child from asking questions related to birth,
conceptions and sex.
3. Do not force information when not asked by the child.
4. Keep an open mind and create an environment of freedom and trust with
your child from the very start so that your child feels comfortable in
approaching you for sex and sexuality related questions. If you feel
inadequate, seek professional help or seek the help of a friend you trust
or read up on internet and from books. But do get back to your child and do
not avoid.
5. Answer all questions in a very matter of fact way. Avoid emotions
while responding to such questions and avoid moralizing while answering
such questions. Try and simply answer what is asked without any
interpretations.
6. Do not push too much. If the child is happy with an answer, let the
child be. Do not prod too much. If the child comes back again, answer again.
7. Try and watch films with simple love scenes like kissing, hugging,
couples lying naked in bed with sheets on them. There are many such movies.
Watch them with love and compassion without fear.
8. Try and display physical affection to your spouse in front of your
child. Kiss and embrace more often in front of your child. Cuddle up with
your spouse more often in the presence of your child. That way the child
sees what healthy physical intimacy between opposite sexes is like. Touch,
feel, hug, kiss and massage your child’s body a lot so that the child is
not left needy of physical affection and touch.
9. Stand up against sexual and physical violence in your family. Do not
put up with any abuse from spouse. Do not hide this from your child and
pretend all is well. Know what is wrong and right. That way your child will
also know what is acceptable and what is not and will grow up to be a
responsible adult who respects girls and women. And daughters will grow up
knowing when to say, “NO”.
10. Talk about other sexual orientations like homosexuality and
lesbianism and transgender when your child is a little older. Teach them to
be respectful of eunuchs and explain the science of it to them.
11. Discuss as a family, about media stories on rape and child abuse
and engage your older children in conversation and allow them to express
their views without moral sermons. Ask them what they feel should be done
to stop sexual violence.
12. Mostly educate yourself about sex and your own sexuality.

Leave the rest to God!

-Dola Dasgupta

--
Chitra Jha
Author
Mentor
Holistic Healer
Thought Provoker
Passionate Speaker
Empowerment Coach
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com
http://thusspakechitrajha.blogspot.in