Small Acts Add Up to Meaningful Depression Support
It's hard not to feel helpless when a loved one is dealing with depression. But there are many ways that you can offer support and help for depression.
Just Listen
Listening and providing emotional support really does make a difference to people dealing with depression because it’s common for them to isolate and withdraw, says Christy D. Hofsess, PhD, a licensed psychologist and assistant professor in the department of counseling and health psychology at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Wash. To offer depression support, listen with empathy, meaning try to step inside the person’s shoes and show compassion and warmth. Don’t try to “fix” someone with depression symptoms or say how to feel or what to do, Hofsess says.
Do Research
Giving depression support also means learning as much as you can about the condition. Find out what depression symptoms look like and try to understand the condition. It’s important to recognizedepression as an illness. “Just as if someone you love got diabetes,” Sabine says. Next, keep in mind that although you understand the process of depression, that is very different than comprehending what the person who is dealing with depression is feeling.
Help Find a Therapist
It can be difficult for someone with depression symptoms to pick up the phone and make the first appointment to get treated, but you can help by researching therapists and offering to make the appointment. If your loved one doesn’t feel a connection with one therapist, it’s important to keep looking until you find someone who’s the right fit. There are many medical professionals who help treat depression, including social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists.
Be Positive
Your involvement in the life of a person with depression is a huge help, even if you don’t say a word, Sabine says. The key to offering depression support is to keep a positive and encouraging attitude. Don’t plead, scold, or cajole someone who is dealing with depression. Just be there. You may feel like you should come up with something insightful that will snap your loved one out of their mood, but you can’t, Sabine says. Let the therapist address the depression while you focus on simply being a positive presence.
Offer Distractions and Activities
Staying active and being around people are among the best ways to deal with depression — in addition to going to therapy and taking medication for depression symptoms, Sabine says. However, trying to get someone with depression to be active may feel like a losing battle. But even getting your loved one to go into another room of the house with you is one baby step that may lead to sitting outside, which could lead to a walk, and that can help immensely. If you offer invitations and get turned down, don’t get discouraged. Know that it’s a symptom of the depression and your encouragement and depression support does help.
Help With Daily Chores
You don’t want to encourage inactivity, but helping your loved one with tasks like cooking dinner or cleaning can ease feelings of despair or stress. If you offer to babysit or arrange for childcare so your loved one can get out of the house and do other activities, even better, Hofsess says. Logistical barriers to getting out of the house can feel overwhelming to someone dealing with depression.
Point Out Improvements
It’s very common for people with depression to stop their medication because they think either that the medication isn’t working or that they don’t need it anymore, Sabine says. However, to prevent relapse, a person should be well for six to nine months or longer before thinking about stopping antidepressants, and should do so only after discussing it with a doctor. Noting improvements as part of your depression support can show your loved one that the medication and other treatments are having an effect. Point out that the house is clean or that your loved one is more active or smiling and laughing more often.
Help Keep Track of Treatment
Sticking with medication is only part of managing treatment for depression symptoms. It’s also vital to keep up withtherapy appointments, which can lead to significant improvements in depression and your loved one’s life. “A lot of times people don’t want to pay for therapy,” Sabine says. Stay involved by asking your loved one about therapy sessions and pointing out what a huge help they can be for depression.
Check In Regularly
A “gentle consistency” is best for offering depression support, Hofsess says. If you call or visit regularly, your friend or family member will get the message that you’re there for support. Pay attention to cues from your loved one to decide how often is best, whether it’s a phone call or visit once a week or an e-mail or text every other day. And don’t give up on your efforts. It may take weeks or months of treatment to see improvement in depression symptoms, but it will happen.
