9 Ways to Help a Loved One With Depression

Small Acts Add Up to Meaningful Depression Support

It's hard not to feel helpless when a loved one is dealing with depression. But there are many ways that you can offer support and help for depression.

By Marie Suszynski

Just Listen

Listening and providing emotional support really does make a difference to people dealing with depression because it’s common for them to isolate and withdraw, says Christy D. Hofsess, PhD, a licensed psychologist and assistant professor in the department of counseling and health psychology at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Wash. To offer depression support, listen with empathy, meaning try to step inside the person’s shoes and show compassion and warmth. Don’t try to “fix” someone with depression symptoms or say how to feel or what to do, Hofsess says.

Do Research

Giving depression support also means learning as much as you can about the condition. Find out what depression symptoms look like and try to understand the condition. It’s important to recognizedepression as an illness. “Just as if someone you love got diabetes,” Sabine says. Next, keep in mind that although you understand the process of depression, that is very different than comprehending what the person who is dealing with depression is feeling.

Help Find a Therapist

It can be difficult for someone with depression symptoms to pick up the phone and make the first appointment to get treated, but you can help by researching therapists and offering to make the appointment. If your loved one doesn’t feel a connection with one therapist, it’s important to keep looking until you find someone who’s the right fit. There are many medical professionals who help treat depression, including social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

Be Positive

Your involvement in the life of a person with depression is a huge help, even if you don’t say a word, Sabine says. The key to offering depression support is to keep a positive and encouraging attitude. Don’t plead, scold, or cajole someone who is dealing with depression. Just be there. You may feel like you should come up with something insightful that will snap your loved one out of their mood, but you can’t, Sabine says. Let the therapist address the depression while you focus on simply being a positive presence.

Offer Distractions and Activities

Staying active and being around people are among the best ways to deal with depression — in addition to going to therapy and taking medication for depression symptoms, Sabine says. However, trying to get someone with depression to be active may feel like a losing battle. But even getting your loved one to go into another room of the house with you is one baby step that may lead to sitting outside, which could lead to a walk, and that can help immensely. If you offer invitations and get turned down, don’t get discouraged. Know that it’s a symptom of the depression and your encouragement and depression support does help.

Help With Daily Chores

You don’t want to encourage inactivity, but helping your loved one with tasks like cooking dinner or cleaning can ease feelings of despair or stress. If you offer to babysit or arrange for childcare so your loved one can get out of the house and do other activities, even better, Hofsess says. Logistical barriers to getting out of the house can feel overwhelming to someone dealing with depression.

Point Out Improvements

It’s very common for people with depression to stop their medication because they think either that the medication isn’t working or that they don’t need it anymore, Sabine says. However, to prevent relapse, a person should be well for six to nine months or longer before thinking about stopping antidepressants, and should do so only after discussing it with a doctor. Noting improvements as part of your depression support can show your loved one that the medication and other treatments are having an effect. Point out that the house is clean or that your loved one is more active or smiling and laughing more often.

Help Keep Track of Treatment

Sticking with medication is only part of managing treatment for depression symptoms. It’s also vital to keep up withtherapy appointments, which can lead to significant improvements in depression and your loved one’s life. “A lot of times people don’t want to pay for therapy,” Sabine says. Stay involved by asking your loved one about therapy sessions and pointing out what a huge help they can be for depression.

Check In Regularly

A “gentle consistency” is best for offering depression support, Hofsess says. If you call or visit regularly, your friend or family member will get the message that you’re there for support. Pay attention to cues from your loved one to decide how often is best, whether it’s a phone call or visit once a week or an e-mail or text every other day. And don’t give up on your efforts. It may take weeks or months of treatment to see improvement in depression symptoms, but it will happen.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression-pictures/ways-to-help-loved-one-with-depression.aspx#/slide-10

Adverse effects of Sleeping pills ......taken by self, or given secretly by spouse or attending caregiver....

Alternatives to sleeping pills, sleep aids & medications

Research has shown that changing your sleep environment and bedtime behaviors is one of the most effective ways to combat insomnia. Even if you decide to use sleeping pills or medications in the short term, experts recommend making changes in your lifestyle and bedtime behavior as a long-term remedy to sleep problems. Behavioral and environmental changes can have more of a positive impact on sleep than sleeping pills, sleep aids, or other medications, without the risk of side effects or dependence.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as an alternative to sleeping pills

Many people complain that frustrating, negative thoughts and worries prevent them from sleeping at night. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that treats problems by modifying dysfunctional or destructive thoughts, emotions and patterns of behavior. CBT is a relatively simple treatment that can improve sleep by changing your behavior before bedtime as well as changing the ways of thinking that keep you from falling asleep. It also focuses on improving relaxation skills and changing lifestyle habits that affect sleeping patterns.

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Relaxation techniques as an alternative to sleeping pills

Relaxation techniques that can relieve stress and help you sleep include simple meditation practices, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, tai chi, and the use of deep breathing. With a little practice, these skills can help you unwind at bedtime and improve your sleep better than a sleeping pill or sleep aid. Try:

• A relaxing bedtime routine. Focus on quiet, soothing activities, such as reading, gentle yoga, or listening to soft music before bed. Keep the lights low to naturally boost melatonin.
• Abdominal breathing. Most of us don’t breathe as deeply as we should. When we breathe deeply and fully, involving not only the chest, but also the belly, lower back, and ribcage, it can actually help the part of our nervous system that controls relaxation. Close your eyes and try taking deep, slow breaths, making each breath even deeper than the last. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Make each exhale a little longer than each inhale.
• Progressive muscle relaxation is easier than it sounds. Lie down or make yourself comfortable. Starting with your feet, tense the muscles as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10, and then relax. Continue to do this for every muscle group in your body, starting with your feet and working your way up to the top of your head.

Exercise as an alternative to sleeping pills

Studies have shown that exercise during the day can improve sleep at night. When we exercise we experience a significant rise in body temperature, followed a few hours later by a significant drop. This drop in body temperature makes it easier for us to fall and stay asleep. The best time to exercise is late afternoon or early evening, rather than just before bed.

Aerobic exercises are the best to combat insomnia as they increase the amount of oxygen that reaches the blood. Try exercise such as jogging, walking briskly, using a stationary bike or treadmill, dancing, or jumping rope. Check with your doctor first to make sure you are healthy enough for physical activity and remember to stretch before and after your workouts.

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The trouble with sleeping pills, over-the-counter (OTC) sleep aids & medications

The idea that a pill can instantly solve your sleep problems is very appealing. Unfortunately, sleeping pills don't cure the underlying cause of insomnia, and in fact can often make the problem worse in the long run. Concerns regarding over-the-counter (OTC) and prescription sleep aids include:

• Side effects. Side effects can be severe, including prolonged drowsiness the next day, confusion, and forgetfulness.
• Rebound insomnia. If you need to stop taking sleeping pills, sometimes the insomnia can become even worse than before.
• Masking an underlying problem. There may be an underlying medical or mental disorder, or even a sleep disorder, causing your insomnia that can’t be treated with sleeping pills.

Side effects of sleep aids and sleeping pills

All prescription sleeping pills have side effects, which can vary depending on the specific drug, the dosage, and how long the drug lasts in your system. Common side effects include headache, muscle aches, constipation, dry mouth, daytime sleepiness, trouble concentrating, dizziness, unsteadiness, and rebound insomnia.

Some serious risks of sleeping pills

Sedative-hypnotic drug products (benzodiazepines and non-benzodiazepines) can cause severe allergic reaction, facial swelling, memory lapses, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts or actions, and complex sleep-related behaviors like sleep-walking, sleep-driving (driving while not fully awake, with no memory of the event) and sleep-eating (eating in the middle of the night with no recollection, often resulting in weight-gain). If you experience any unusual sleep-related behavior, consult your doctor immediately.

Common side effects of OTC sleep aids and sleeping pills

Moderate to severe drowsiness the next day Dizziness and forgetfulness Clumsiness, feeling off balance

Constipation and urinary retention Blurred vision Dry mouth and throat

Guidelines for using sleeping pills, sleep aids & medications

If you decide to try sleeping pills, sleep aids, or sleep medications, talk to your doctor about:

• Other medications you are taking, including non-prescription medications such as pain relievers and allergy medicines, as well as herbal supplements. Combining medications can be very dangerous.
• Specific instructions for decreasing and/or terminating use. In some cases, stopping medication abruptly can cause uncomfortable side effects and even rebound insomnia.
• Using the medications intermittently, rather than nightly, in order to decrease the negative side effects and to increase the sleeping pills’ efficiency when you do use them. This is not appropriate with all medications, as some cause withdrawal symptoms when stopped abruptly. 
• Other medical conditions you have. Some sleep medications can have serious side effects for people with medical problems such as high blood pressure, liver problems, glaucoma, depression, and breathing difficulties.

Important tips when taking sleeping pills

When taking sleeping pills, sleep aids, or sleep medications, remember to:

• Only take a sleeping pill when you will have enough time to get a full night of sleep (seven to eight hours). Otherwise you may feel very drowsy the next day.
• Carefully read the package insert that comes with your medication. Pay careful attention to the potential side effects.
• Never drink alcohol near the time you take a sleeping pill. Not only will alcohol disrupt your sleep even more, it can interact dangerously with the sleeping pill.
• Never drive a car or operate machinery after taking a sleeping pill. This tip is especially important when you first start taking a new sleep aid, as you may not know how it will affect you.
• Follow directions closely, starting with a very small dose and increasing gradually, according to the doctor’s prescription. Find out whether you should take your medication with or without food. For some medications, certain foods must be avoided.=============================================================

Adverse effects of diazepam include anterograde amnesia (especially at higher doses) and sedation, as well as paradoxical effectssuch as excitement, rage or worsening of seizures in epileptics. Benzodiazepines also can cause or worsen depression. Long-term effects of benzodiazepines such as diazepam include tolerance, benzodiazepine dependence and benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome upon dose reduction. After cessation of benzodiazepines, cognitive deficits may persist for at least six months and it was suggested that longer than six months may be needed for recovery from some deficits.^[4] Diazepam also has physical dependence potential and can cause serious problems of physical dependence with long term use. Compared to other benzodiazepines, though, physical withdrawal from diazepam following long term use is usually far more mild due to its long elimination half-life. Nevertheless, urgent action by national governments to improve prescribing practices has been recommended.^[5] Diazepam is the drug of choice for treating benzodiazepine dependence, with its low potency, long duration of action and the availability of low-dose tablets making it ideal for gradual dose reduction and the circumvention of withdrawal symptoms.

The Downsides of Prozac

by Craig Lambert
May-June 2000

http://harvardmagazine.com/2000/05/the-downsides-of-prozac-html

Hence, side effects show up in the massive field trial of the marketplace. “Repeated studies have shown that about 60 percent of patients have some form of sexual dysfunction—loss of libido, difficulty reaching orgasm, impotence—on SSRIs,” Glenmullen says. “But Eli Lilly’s official figure is 2 to 5 percent.” More ominously, the Prozac “lift” has lifted some into violent rampages, like that of the Louisville printing-press operator who in 1989 killed eight and wounded a dozen more with an AK-47 assault rifle just weeks after starting Prozac. Glenmullen has seen some of his own patients besieged by suicidal thoughts of “a particularly obsessive quality” after starting Prozac, and says that the Swedish and German equivalents of thePhysician’s Desk Reference warn doctors of this potential side effect and provide guidelines for managing it.

What Are the Side Effects of Sleeping Pills?

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/understanding-the-side-effects-of-sleeping-pills

Sleeping pills have side effects like most medications. You won't know, though, whether you will experience side effects with a particular sleeping pill until you try it.

Your doctor may be able to alert you to the possibility of side effects if you haveasthma or other health conditions. Sleeping pills make you breathe more slowly and less deeply. That can be dangerous for people with uncontrolled lung problems such as asthma or COPD.

Common side effects of prescription sleeping pills such as Lunesta, Sonata, Ambien, Rozerem, and Halcion may include:

• Burning or tingling in the hands, arms, feet, or legs
• Changes in appetite
• Constipation
• Diarrhea
• Difficulty keeping balance
• Dizziness
• Drowsiness
• Dry mouth or throat
• Gas
• Headache
• Heartburn
• Stomach pain or tenderness
• Uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body
• Unusual dreams
• Weakness

The FDA requires manufacturers of Ambien and Zolpimist to offer lower doses for women. Women clear the drugs from their systems more slowly than men and the agency says blood levels of the drugs could still be high enough the following morning to affect activities that require alertness, such as driving. The FDA says doctors should offer the lower dose to men too.

It's important to be aware of possible sleeping pill side effects so you can stop the drug and call your doctor immediately to avoid a more serious health problem.

Can I Be Allergic to Sleeping Pills?

Yes. Some people may have an allergic reaction when taking a sleeping pill and should avoid them. It's important to talk to your doctor at the first sign of these serious side effects, including:

• Blurred vision or any other problems with your sight
• Chest pain
• Difficulty breathing or swallowing
• Feeling that the throat is closing
• Hives
• Hoarseness
• Itching
• Nausea
• Pounding heartbeat
• Rash
• Shortness of breath
• Swelling of the eyes, face, lips, tongue, or throat
• Vomiting

In addition, a serious -- even deadly -- side effect of any medicine someone is allergic to is anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis is an acute allergic reaction. Another possible effect is angioedema, which is severe facial swelling. Again, discuss these possibilities with your doctor if you are at risk of allergic reactions.

Can I Become Dependent on Sleeping Pills?

For short-term insomnia, your doctor may prescribe sleeping pills for several weeks. Yet after regular use for a longer period, your sleeping pill may stop working as you build a tolerance to the medication. You may also become psychologically dependent on the medicine. Then the idea of going to sleep without it will make you anxious.

Without the sleeping pill, you might find it difficult to sleep. If that happens it could be a sign of a physical or emotional dependence or both. Some studies show that long-term use of sleeping pills actually interferes with sleep. The best way to avoid developing a physical or emotional dependence on sleeping pills is to follow your doctor's instructions and stop taking the drug when recommended.

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If sleeping pills cause even a small portion of the excess deaths and cancers associated with their use, they are too dangerous to use.

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Patients who took sleeping pills died 4.6 times more often (on average) than patients who avoided sleeping pills.

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physicians have become concerned about sleep apnea, a condition where there are pauses of breathing during sleep. Physicians suspect that sleep apnea can cause deaths during sleep. Not all studies are in agreement, but several studies have found that when a person with sleep apnea takes sleeping pills, there are more pauses in breathing and the pauses last longer, which could be dangerous. I was surprised to learn in the FDA data how well-documented it is that zolpidem makes sleep apnea worse. Because sleeping pills risk making apnea worse, many experts recommend that people with apnea should not be given sleeping pills. The problem is that almost everybody above age 40 has some sleep apnea, and the majority of people over 65 would meet commonly-used criteria for a diagnosis of sleep apnea. Therefore, a large proportion of people taking sleeping pills must be making their apnea worse. Over a period of many years, anything which makes sleep apnea worse would be expected to cause high blood pressure, and therefore, to increase the risk of heart attacks, heart failure, and strokes.

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Kshamavani "The ‘Forgiveness day" celebrated every year .........

I,  Alok Tholiya beg for forgiveness...and forgive one and all this 19th  day of September 2013. 

    This article was written / redrafted by me on the Kshmavani Parva just prior to Dethroning of President Saddam. I cud not get time to redraft as per present situation around.The mail still stands good for all of us. .....Alok  

      Kshamavani (The ‘Forgiveness day’ celebrated once a year) is the

festival of Jains. This festival gives an occasion to leave the ego and

history behind and improve relations, re-establish communications by

forgiving and forgetting. I strongly wish that President Saddam can use this

opportunity and seek pardon from world for knowingly or unknowingly hurting

world community, and extend full cooperation to inspection team. Then whole

world would feel thankful, relived and obliged. Great Iraqi citizens can

then participate in constructive way in making Iraq a modern dynamic country

as if we see Dubai, Singapore, Hongkong, Korea etc. etc. Alternatively, due

to lack of heart and vision, and due to personal ego he may choose to bring

disaster to many a country as well to Iraqis themselves who will be pushed

hundred years behind. I request countries close to Iraq to send high-level

deputation (heads of top 10 countries as well as top spiritual leaders) to

Mr. Saddam and bring about awakening and respectable solution. Those who can

help in reducing the tension if remain willfully quite will be bigger sinner

than those driven by lust of power and money (as they are overpowered by

their madness/obsession).I wish if Musharrfji too does that and helps Pak

and India to follow the path of progress. And I am sure he wishes to bring

normalcy and good relations but China will not let this happen who does not

want to loosen the noose from puppet rather China has greater designs and we

see its effects now in Nepal too. It was RDX from China, which melted WTC in

minutes. It is AK47 from china, which has been used in all terrorist

activities, hijacking and black mailing. Give peace a chance this Kshamavani

Day.

Forgiveness/ Kshamavani – A Real stress Buster

The most humorous thing about forgiveness is that when people

forgive someone, they think they are doing him a favour. Wake up. You are

receiving the biggest favour. Let me explain: Do you know science has

already proven that harboured resentments, hate, hurt, guilt, etc., cause a

depletion in your own system, often leading to disease and self-anguish. It

would frighten people to know how much their pent-up angers, resentments,

and guilt is depleting their systems, causing them the lack of peace they

blame others for creating. If you want peace, fun and zest for living, you

have to learn to maintain your mental and emotional nature the same as a

doctor helps to maintain your physical. There are many tools for doing that

but forgiveness is the only tool available always & free.

For those non-Jains, pl. do not perceive forgiveness & or begging a

pardon as something just religious or spiritual. Look at it in a business

sense - smart business. In an act of forgiveness, you especially come out

good because you release that disease-producing energy from your system.

These energies produce hormones that toxify your mental, emotional and

physical system. Forgiveness is just a process of re-balancing your internal

energy distortions to recreate a harmonious flow between yourself and

others. The trick is you have to forgive from the “heart”. A common mistake

is that people try to forgive from the “head”, and then find that the same

resentments keep popping up repeatedly. People think they have forgiven

others and realize later that they resent even more. It does not mean that

you are bad when this happens; it is just a matter of learning more about

your system and, especially, the difference between the heart and the head.

The heart forgives; the head makes empty promises that do not reach

completion. Completion is seriously important because if you leave a crack

in the door, negative thoughts and emotions can blow it off the hinges.

Heart intelligence clearly helps you to understand that forgiveness and

seeking pardon are especially for your own mental and emotional maintenance.

One would pursue anything for own benefit. I am not implying that

forgiveness does not benefit the other person but you are the primary

beneficiary when you forgive someone. And if you realize this then you will

have more incentive to complete the act of forgiveness at the heart level &

this will benefit the other person too as it causes relief in other person

too who is most often your own near & dear one. Then, everyone wins! It’s

okay to forgive someone for self-benefits because you have to love and

respect your own energies before you are truly effective in facilitating

someone else’s needs. The prime message is that forgiveness is not some

little churchy act you put on to do someone else a favour. Both parties

receive an increase in their energy bank account. Forgiving and forgetting

the old hurts and hate & guilt from your system are like taking a mental and

emotional Ganga bath. You bath regularly your body but forget to bath

soul/conscience & store negative toxic junk in your mental and emotional

psyche for years without a clean up. Trust me, it taxes your system. It is

really the mental and emotional bath you need daily. That is where your

happiness and quality of life are registered.

Yet, another humorous situation is that while you are still

poisoning your own system & doing damage to yourself, the people you hate or

resent do not even know about it. It is especially you that you are

punishing. Again, I’m not talking religion, I am not talking Jainism I’m

talking business - the business of your own self-health - “street sense!” It

is about preventative maintenance that can keep the doctor bills down and

keep your happiness and fun up. Be careful of falling in the trap of

justified hate because it’s really you that’s taking the lashing. If it

sounds like I’m overly intent on this one point, it may be you that needs to

hear it one more time so that you might just hear it for the first time.

Once you really hear it from the heart, here is how you can do

yourself a favour, a big one: List all the people, organizations, issues or

anything you hold hate and resentments against. Then make a serious effort

from the heart to release those negative frequencies from your system and

replace it with heart intelligence. Heart intelligence would ask you, why

drain your life and junk up your system just because someone else is out to

phase out his own life? It may be hard for you to put out love for someone

who has offended you but you can sure “smarten up” and at least release

yourself from the negative feedback loop created when resenting others and

yourself. Forgiveness is a featured aspect of self-management, yet

self-management is not featured in most people’s day-to-day agenda. I’m well

aware that some situations are deeply rooted with hurt and pain caused by

others. Still for the sake of your own health and the people around you,

it’s worth going deeper in the heart and finally releasing that negative

junk. I know this would sound disgusting but there is no more choice. Of

course, in some cases, you can create an environment & sit down & tell the

other person that you justifiably feel hurt & that he should desist in

mutual benefit from repeating the mistake. However, the trick is not to

expect him to change but definitely give him one fair chance to improve by

pardoning once. If this content sparks any “make-sense” within you and you

decide to consider forgiving more and suffering less, then do it from the

heart! The heart is where you will tap the power of care. It’s the care that

is missing in people’s efforts of good intentions. Care is love in different

degrees and potencies. Turn on the shower in your heart and rain love. Send

heart and love energy into the world if you really want to play an effective

part in cleaning up the planetary stress-mess.

Finally, yet importantly, do not forget self-forgiveness as

self-punishment defies intelligence and especially common sense. Your heart

truth would know that self-punishment could cause more harm to you than the

wrong you did. Forget self-punishment, pick up the pieces, forgive yourself

and move on from there. However very critical point to be noted hears is

that you should not repeat such serious mistakes that caused you feel so

much guilty otherwise, there is no use of forgiveness.

Self-forgiveness followed by strict self restraint, discipline,

caution, vigilance brings your mental and emotional energy systems back into

balance or else either you fall sick with guilt biting you from within every

minute of the day or you become shameless hardcore criminal / offender doing

the same offending act again & again. Do yourself favour, My dear, ease up

on yourself. If you have something eating on you inside, then talk it out,

work it out, release it & improve & change yourself. Just get it out because

it is like an energy vampire guaranteed to drain daily a percentage of your

life’s enjoyment potentials.

Forgiveness has been around for quite awhile & some have been

practicing too. However, you can know it in your “head” for years but the

knowledge does not turn into wisdom until you have heard and applied it from

the heart. Play with it for a while and you can secretly realize that much

of the stress you have been experiencing could have easily been avoided. It

was just a matter of listening to and following what you already know. It’s

actually fun to start experiencing the power of your own self-management

that leads to self-empowerment as you are then more refined, more alive,

more spotless, more attuned & great listener of your heart. The true

Kshamavani can brighten up your life even more than a smile. Why? Because

many times smiles are used to cover up what is not cleaned up.

So go ahead, all out give up what suffocates you & your life &

forgive & forget self & others. Have fun with it.

So here, I offer hardik kshama (pardoning) & expect same from you

the lion hearted,

Alok Tholiya

N.B.: Person repeating mistake consciously does not deserve any

forgiveness & should be dealt with suitably. 

Three Degrees of Seperation

The Indi Patriot:

( now on twitter @theindipatriot)

Monday, September 16, 2013

Three Degrees of Seperation

Yesterday, my wife was doing an assignment for her studies for psychology. We were talking about compassion. Somewhere in her research she hit upon a basic distinction of the degrees of feelings we have as follows:

1) Sympathy is when you feel for someone’s troubles, to move them from a de humanized image to a conscious one. (So you would sympathize with lets say a beggar child)

2) Empathy is when you do something to feel an emotion close to what the other person is feeling. (So empathy is standing in the hot sun talking for a few minutes to your fruit seller and consciously feeling what he goes through)

3) Compassion is when you do something to alleviate someone's suffering after you sympathize and empathize with them. Compassion by definition encompasses action (So compassion would be opening a food kitchen for people who live on scraps since you feel for them and want to take some action on that feeling)

So that made me take a stock of my life and I looked around me and I was shocked to see how many ghosts there are around us.

People I haven’t noticed in my self centeredness but without whom a city like Mumbai will crash.

We go around calling ourselves compassionate when we haven’t even touched the sympathy level with them.

These are people who live and work around us but we never even had eye contact with them. We would never dream of reaching out and talking to them, of understanding their troubles. We are too busy zipping by them engrossed in our lofty dreams and self importance.

We have dehumanized them so much they don’t even enter our peripheral vision in a lot of cases.

I had sort of grazed on this subject in my article about street sweepers, but this time I thought deeper on the subject:

The first person of course I thought about were these street sweepers. The silent angels who are busy working by the side of the road in pitch darkness while you whizz by in the silent cocoon of your car taking for granted tha t the same road will be clean when you pass by the next morning.

The second person I thought of was the water control men. What most of us dont realize is that Mumbai still runs on archaic water gate systems which controls your water supply using large iron keys. You may see these valiant key men switching on and off your supply in the middle of the road struggling with heavy 3 feet high iron key while we turn our cars to bypass them but we never acknowledge the contribution they have on our water supply.

The third person i think of is our ATM security guards. You may recognize your society guard or even the guards of the buildings you visit since they imping on your consciousness by interacting with you. How many of us even notice that there is a human being sitting outside the ATM we use as we brush by them.

The fourth are the scavengers : I always say that India has the best recycling system in the world. Throw an aluminium can or a scrap of paper on the road, 10 minutes later its history. Who took it, the scavengers. It is said Mumbai creates approx 10,000 tonnes of wastage daily dumped into disposal sites. Imagine how much more it would be without the scavengers. The beggars barge into your life making sure they are noticed, the scavengers are the silent warriors who go about their tasks with no intrusion into your mind or consciousness

The fifth are the gutter cleaners. We pass by them in our cars, see them covered in black muck, stinking, cleaning the gutters manually in in human conditions unlike any other country which calls its self a developed civilized country.and uses machines for at least he primary cleaning

The sixth are the local train drivers. We interact with the TCs and maybe in a rare occasion with the guard but how many of us even see that ghost who drives the train, who comes onto the platform quietly, goes to his cabin, does his job and goes home. The person without whom Mumbai’s lifeblood would come to a screeching halt.

The seventh is the security guards who frisk you at Malls. These people are the backbone on which security in crowded places rest. They run their beeping wands over one after another after another ad infintum. We dont even bother to make eye contact and smile at them. For us they are as lifeless as the metal detector that we pass through before we reach them.

These and so many many more people who are the lynchpin around which our lives revolve. I have sworn the next time I meet any of them, the least I will do is make eye contact, smile and let them know how grateful I am that they make my life comfortable. Who knows maybe I’ll be lucky enough to drop my ego  and share a cup of tea with these noble silent soldiers. What will you do ?