save children from Stress ( and some from suicide)

save children from Stress ( and some from suicide)

For Parents   -    Beat the stress Exam and stress go hand-in-hand, and the number of students taking to extreme measures to evade this stress is alarming! However, as a parent, you can help your child strike the right balance. Purnima Goswami Sharma presents tips from experts Parental expectations are on a constant rise. In an urge to fulfill their own dreams, parents often choose to ignore the aptitude of the child, and force them to attain academic excellence, thus leaving them with unreasonable stress.   Exploring other options   According to Varkha Chulani, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist, Lilavati Hospital - Mumbai, "Distress is a result of faulty attitudes that parents and children have about success. In a highly competitive atmosphere, the need for certain number of marks is inevitable. But what parents need to realise is that unlike what it was earlier, a whole new world of career options has opened up. While earlier the options were limited to a few fields like  medicine and law, today there are plenty of options ranging from VJ to a hairstylist, to an RJ - all these are equally fulfilling and successful careers."   The safety net   According to Sudeshna Chatterjee, Principal, Jamnabai Narsee School, "Parental expectations and their attempt to achieve their dreams through their children is one of the greatest source of tension. It's important to provide children with a congenial environment that encourages them to speak up frankly. Set the example of a positive attitude yourself. Family must provide the strong assurance of the 'safety net', irrespective of any failure or poor performance. There has to be a way to come back home at the end of the day."   Accept your child   There has to be a way to come back home at the end of the day Jeevan D'Cunha, Head of Counselling Department, Jamnabai Narsee School and Snehalaya Family Service Centre, advises against comparing children: "Your child is your child - unique and special. Just accept him/her as s/he is and not as some mark churning machine!"   Realistic expectations   One of the most important ways to prepare is having realistic expectations. Parents should know their child's abilities. "Remember if your child consistently secures 70 per cent, then that is a 100 per cent for him/her. Realistic expectations should also extend to study time. Very often it is difficult to concentrate for more than an hour or hour-and-a half without a break," suggests D'Cunha.   Stay calm   Children see how their parents react to setbacks and disappointments. If they see the parent getting wound up, unable to cope, exaggerating horrors of a failure, then there is a high likelihood that children also react in a similar fashion.   "It is important to make children realise that career is only a part of life, and does not constitute your entire life. When the child sees that you as a parent mean what you say, the likelihood of him/him remaining calm during exams increases," suggest Chulani.   Take help if need be   Always talk calmly and gently to the child. Do not blame or condemn the child for his/her nervousness. Reassure the child that you are with him/him no matter what. "Make the child understand that failing to achieve what s/he has set to achieve is not the end of the world. If there is persistent anxiety which does not ebb in spite of your reassurance, seek professional help," concludes Chulani

Healthy Self-Remedies for Depression

8 Ways to Get Through the Day When You're Depressed

Author David Blistein shares his personal tips on how to make the day a little less painful when you're in the midst of major depression or anxiety.

By David Blistein

You’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed. You’re so anxious you can’t stop moving. Maybe both. That latest medication or complementary treatment seems to be helping. Or you’re thinking nothing’s ever going to work. Regardless, simply getting through the day is a challenge. I've been there.

Here are some things I have tried that might help you as well:

Be kind to yourself. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t think, “I shouldn’t have a broken leg.” But if you’re depressed, it’s easy to think, “I shouldn’t be depressed,” or “I should calm down.” In our culture, we pride ourselves on pushing through things. When you’re depressed, however, “beating yourself up” only increases your sense of helplessness. It’s OK if you aren’t as much fun to be around. It’s OK if you’re not as productive as usual. You don’t have a broken leg…you have a broken heart. And it takes time to heal.

Take small steps. Lying in bed wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep? It’s OK to keep lying there. Maybe do one small thing that might make you feel a bit better. Like smile for ten seconds. Or stretch a little. I know you don’t feel like smiling or stretching. But give it a shot. Maybe you can manage to get up but don’t feel like doing anything. Make some tea or coffee, go to a comfortable chair and look out a window. Sit outside if the weather’s OK. In winter you can zip yourself into a sleeping bag or cover yourself with blankets. I was so manic I had to get out of bed (often at 4 or 5 a.m.) I couldn’t sit and meditate even though I’d done it for years. I was, however, able to take few deep breaths once in a while. That was the best I could do, so that’s what I did.

Take a hike. Everyone knows how important exercise can be to mental health. It not only produces endorphins but can give you a feeling of accomplishment. There’s no need to do some heavy-duty workout. If you don’t feel like running, walk. If you don’t feel like walking, stroll. Just move your body a bit each day. Even though I walked and biked a lot, I still felt trapped inside my own head. So I’d try to feel my feet on the ground…just for a few seconds. Or look at something outside my brain—a tree, a flower, the sky. Taking a little hike someplace you’ve never been before can help pull you out of yourself a bit. OK, I admit it—a few times I hugged a tree. I felt really silly doing it. But, I could actually feel some of my anxiety dissolving into the tree. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.

Get a massage. Whether you’re depressed or anxious, massage is one of the best ways to be kind to yourself. So are other “hands-on” treatments, such as craniosacral therapy and Reiki. Plus, scheduling a massage every week gives you something to look forward to. If you can’t afford one, ask your partner or a friend. They don’t have to have any special skills. My only caveat would be that deep massage techniques like shiatsu or rolfing can bring up emotional stuff. So it’d be best of the person doing it has experience massaging clients with depression and mania.

Repeat after me. When you’re depressed, being asked to think positively can be like asking someone who’s color blind to see red. But you can pretend to think positively. Again, just for a few seconds, or a minute. Say to yourself, or out loud, “I feel fabulous. I feel fabulous. I feel fabulous.” Think of it like a mantra, or a prayer, or the way children “make believe” in order to have different experiences.

Write or draw. Describing your experience can give you little distance from it. I wrote a lot of e-mails when I was going through my breakdown. Knowing there was someone out there listening helped get those thoughts out of me instead of just rolling around in my head. Drawing can also help get things unstuck. You don’t have to be an artist. Scribbling is just as effective. Use lots of colors.

Talk to Friends. This one’s a bit tricky. Because most friends want you to feel better so badly, they often make suggestions that make you feel more inadequate. It’s OK to ask a friend to just listen. Just listen. To only make suggestions if you ask for them. It’s also OK not to talk. Marilyn Monroe, of all people, said: “It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone.”

Cry and scream. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a way to let go. I wouldn’t overdo it in front of the kids or at work, but when you can find a safe place to just let it go…let it go.

Self-Care at Work

All the things I’ve written about may sound nice—and can be good complements (although not replacements) for professional help. But what about when you have a 9 to 5 job and spend most of your time trying to mask how badly you feel? If you get “mental health days” take advantage of them. No need to feel guilty about it. They’re as important as sick days. If possible, find someone at work you can confide in…so you can let the mask down a bit during the day. Finally, you can usually take those few deep breaths or go for that short walk.

I really hope this helps. While I’m not dealing with severe depression now, I have been. And at various times I did all of these things. They certainly weren’t cures in themselves (that usually requires working with professionals), but they always took the edge off. And they helped me get through the day.

David Blistein is the author of David’s Inferno: My Journey Through the Dark Wood of Depression(Hatherleigh Press, March 2013).

if not regulated by your behaviour towards affected person then u may b in for worst...

Alok adds: Not many even highly educated do not know this. Rather they distance or ill treat a person under depression and damage him / her more. Accepting lowly performing due to depression, giving him touch of love , understanding and due recognition time to time can do wonders. Bit psychiatrist and counselors too do not try to change the scenario at home or office which can help disturbed/ depressed person. And as disturbed person is disturbed and hurt more he goes into deeper shell and on heavier dosage of chemical treatment or in Indian condition no treatment resulting in serious damage going up to violent steps of destroying self or others.  

for some temptations of pleasures do not risk long term peace

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

1. Give up your need to always be right

2. Give up your need for control

3. Give up on blame

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

6. Give up complaining

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

8. Give up your need to impress others

9. Give up your resistance to change

10. Give up labels

11. Give up on your fears

12. Give up your excuses

13. Give up the past

14. Give up attachment

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Source: “15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy,” from purposefairy.com, by Luminita D. Saviuc

H/T : http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/15-things-you-should-give-up-to-be-

Remember: Managing even small disorder can brighten life and career

Know Your Triggers

Many people with bipolar disorder have less than predictable patterns of onset, says Prossin, but if you can identify depression or mania symptoms early, you might be able to get additional treatment or make lifestyle changes that prevent a manic episode.

Signs that warrant a call to your doctor include difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep, speaking rapidly, racing thoughts, irritability, and intense boredom or frustration with the structured routine you have created. Remember: Managing bipolar disorder on a daily basis is both a life and career success strategy.

Could this be a form of clinical depression......but I feel good when talking or doing good work..

Q: When I'm at home I feel depressed a lot. I feel that I'm in a rut — going to work, trudging home, dinner, bed, repeat, same pressures from family. But when I travel I feel alive and happy. I even love seeing friends and relatives over a cup of tea,  I feel better attending meeting, visiting places, window shopping in malls, writing on issues, indulging in social activities and so on just because of the sense of doing something good as otherwise in family I am treated as failure and bundle of faults. Could this be a form of clinical depression or is it something else?
A:

Based on your description, it’s hard to say whether your symptoms and concerns are at a level that would warrant a diagnosis of major depressive disorder, although it is very clear that you're unhappy with your day-to-day life. You might benefit from talking with a mental health professional about how you're feeling.

The fact that you can feel better under some circumstances is a good sign. The term “loss of mood reactivity,” which refers to a state in which positive events — such as travel, in your case — no longer lift your spirits, is used to describe the most severe depressive episodes. Generally, people with clinical depression who have “preserved” mood reactivity (the ability to feel better under some circumstances) have a less severe illness and are the most likely to benefit from a range of depression treatments, including counseling and psychotherapy, as well as medications.

Learn more about the different types of depression, how depression is diagnosed, and how you can manage depression over the long term.


Healthy Self-Remedies for Depression

Other mood-boosting depression remedies you can use that will help you avoid risky behaviors include:

Getting regular exercise.
Participating in enjoyable hobbies.
Spending time with friends and loved ones who support you.
Setting realistic goals and working to achieve them.
Keeping to a consistent schedule for sleeping and eating.
Consuming a healthy, balanced diet.
Thinking positively and being patient with yourself.

Risky behaviors may seem like a tempting quick-fix for the difficult symptoms of depression, but they only cause additional problems. The best way to manage depression is to learn as much as you can about the condition and work closely with a mental health professional to find the right treatments for you.